Learning to be mindful

Learning to be mindful sml

When your sibling dies it is normal to have a mix of emotions. Mindfulness might help give you a little break from feeling lots of different things, and allows you focus on your mind for a little bit of time.

For days, weeks and even years after your brother or sister died you may notice that:

  • You may feel more angry or sad
  • You may not want to be alone or not want to be with anyone
  • You may find it hard to fall asleep
  • You may have bad dreams
  • You may notice that your heart is beating faster or louder

Our website has been created by people whose siblings have also died and we know that the best thing to do is tell a trusted adult, like your parents or a teacher, how you are feeling and ask for help when you need it.

Some people find that practising some mindfulness can help you calm down when you’re sad, angry or frustrated. It is a tool that works for lots of people.

If you don't like the sound of these mindfulness activities, there are lots of others.

Mindful strolls

Head outside, make sure an adult knows where you are going, and spend a minute or two standing still before you start walking.

Close your eyes and pay close attention to the sounds, smells, the wind on your hands, the feeling of your shoes and so on.

Then open your eyes very slowly a look around you, pay close attention to the things in vision - the shape of the tree, the colour of the grass, the texture of the mud or stones.

Now begin to walk slowly paying close attention to the feeling of your feet touching the ground, then after a few moments start to focus on one particular sound that you hear (birds, cars in the distance or something else), know focus on your breathing and so on. Once you've walked around for a little while and focussed on all of your senses have a sit down before you go back.

Cloud Watching

Have you ever gone outside and watched clouds go by? This activity is very similar, but instead of watching the clouds go by you watch your thoughts.

Find somewhere comfortable to lay down and close your eyes. Imagine you're lying down in a warm grassy field and that you are looking up at a sky with white fluffy clouds.

Now breathe in and out 10 times, paying close attention to each breath.

As you relax thoughts will slowly come into your mind. Now imagine each thought, or feeling, being put onto the cloud and letting it drift away from you. You might think about what you had for dinner that day, or you might be feeling upset, or worried about school or annoyed at something else. Each feeling, each thought, let it drift away in the clouds.

Keep doing this for as long as you like, imagining yourself in the warm field with clouds going by.