Quinlan's story

Warren Wong 277326 Unsplash

This website has been created by young people whose brothers or sisters have died. There are multiple stories from young people about their experiences. This is the story of Quinlan, aged 14, who was 11 when his brother died in a car crash.

My experiences with grief

Grief comes in all shapes and sizes and it affects people in different ways. However, the only thing that relates between every individual is that it happens and affects people randomly.

My brother died when he was 19 in a car crash; I was 11 at the time and I can remember the exact emotions I was feeling. Obviously, it was awful. Strangely, the following year I believe I didn’t feel sad or think about my brother at all. Then suddenely, it hit me like a wave and there was a 3 week period where its the lowest place I have ever been, but I overcame it.

If you are in a state of depression with grief you can overcome it. I know now that I can escape that dark place and be happy in life and keep and remember happy memories of your loved one.

Advice I would give is spend time with family and friends and do things that make you happy. Also, reflect on what has happened and look back on memories with your loved one. One mistake I did was never look back on my life with my brother and reflect that it is why it suddenly hit me as soon as I opened up.

A good way to think about it Is like hiding it in a cupboard, soon all the thoughts and memories will keep filling up inside of the cupboard and then soon it won’t be able to hold all of it and will break. So not often but once in a while open up the cupboard and refresh and reflect.

The most important thing I have learned is as time goes on the wound heals but a scar will always be there. Remember we are on this earth for a reason and you deserve a happy and enjoyable life!


If these stories remind you of moments you have experienced, or you would like to discuss how you feel, please check out our 'Get Support' section where you can find information about registered organisations who can help you.

If you want to tell your story (you don't have to use your real name) message us - hello@siblingsupport.co.uk